Where I belong
by spiritspell
Summary: Sirius tells Remus how he really feels and James' romantic endeavours fail (as usual). Written for prompt one (Remus) of the Summer Wolfstar wank.


It was just after dinner, and outside the harsh November wind was roaring and beating relentlessly against the tower. Inside the Gryffindor common room however it was warm and quiet. Well. As quiet as a room full of teenagers could be.

Four boys had claimed the best spot in the room (the comfortable chairs in front of the fireplace) as their own. If Remus had opened his eyes he would have seen Peter bent over a Potions essay that was due in the morning ('I work best under pressure you know? But if you wanted to let me copy yours Moony, I wouldn't say no') and James, reclining on the sofa, steadfastly ignoring said Potions essay, which he had not started. Had Remus looked at his he would have seen him gazing mournfully at the far corner where a certain female was sitting with her friends, resolutely not paying attention to James, save to fire him the occasional dirty look.

But Remus did not open his eyes, because he was exhausted. The wolf had drained him, this time he had a particularly bad cut on his arm, which still ached even after he had spent the best part of the day in the hospital wing. But Remus was thankful, remembering countless times when it had been much, much worse, before he'd had his best friends to keep the wolf from tearing him apart. Now, instead of waking up alone, often freezing cold and unable to move on the floor of the Shack, he'd wake up next to a warm boy with impossibly long limbs wrapped around his battered body, breathing warm breath into his neck, or the warmth of a big black dog dozing softly beside him or looking at him with eyes that told him everything would be okay. Things were better than they'd ever been. Much better.

Just then, the boy beside him shifted, moving closer to him and pressing his arm ever so slightly closer to his. Remus shivered slightly at the touch, mentally chastising himself for being such a girl. He looked at Sirius and saw that he was looking at James, who was now sitting up straight on the sofa and messing up his hair (he thought it made him look cool but Remus and probably everyone else in the school thought otherwise) and looking expectantly at the far corner where Lily was lifting her bag and Remus realised she was going to walk past them and James was going to say something and Oh God it was going to be awful. He groaned. Sirius laughed. Peter looked afraid. Remus braced himself for some extreme second-hand embarrassment on behalf of James who was, to his horror, standing up.

'This is going to be horrendous, look at her, she's scowling already and he hasn't even said anything yet, do you think she'll kill him?' muttered Sirius, his breath tickling Remus' neck. It was then that Remus realised they were sitting very close to each other (too close?) and that he should probably move because boys aren't supposed to sit this close, practically draped over each other but really, he was too comfortable and too tired to care very much.

'Probably. Maybe we should do something.'

But, alas. It was too late.

'Lily, my sweet! You look radiant this evening- not that you don't always look beautiful but you look particularly stunning this evening, would you like to accompany me on a romantic walk around the lake? I know it's cold but I could keep you warm and-'

Sirius chose this moment to launch himself off the sofa, grabbing James, clamping a hand over his mouth and hauling him off in the direction of the dormitories.

'I'm afraid James is quite unwell! Quite mad really! Sorry he bothered you Lily he doesn't know what he's doing!' Sirius shouted, struggling to restrain James who was very red in the face. Thankfully, Sirius was stronger than James (Remus was not staring at Sirius' arms, definitely not) and he managed to get him up the stairs and out of sight.

Remus looked at Lily (noticing that Peter had moved behind the sofa where she couldn't see him. Wise man) who looked like she might punch someone, and tried to look sympathetic.

'Sorry about that. He can't help being a total moron.' Remus said. She smiled.

'I know. I hope he realises it soon or I will have to actually kill him.' She paused, opening her mouth like she wanted to say something, but then thought better of it.

'Lily?'

'Why does he have to be such a prat Remus? Why can't he just be- maybe if he-' she stopped and shook her head. 'Whatever. He's a lost cause.' She shrugged, giving him a small wave before she turned around and left the common room.

Remus briefly considered following James and Sirius but, picturing what was likely going on in the dormitory ('BUT SIRIUS DID YOU SEE THE WAY SHE LOOKED AT ME LET ME GO AFTER HER SIRIUS PLEASE') he thought better of it and went back to his spot before the fire. Deciding that the coast was clear, Peter emerged from behind the sofa and went back to copying his potions essay. Remus sighed comfortably and sank in to the sofa, eyes closing before long.

It is much later when Remus awoke to an empty common room. Well almost empty. Sirius was sitting beside him, sleeping soundly.

Remus nudged him awake, amused.

'WHO WHAT WH- oh, Moony my man. Didn't realise I'd fallen asleep.'

Remus smiled. 'How's James?'

Sirius grimaced. 'Oh, you know. The usual. Lamenting about how tragic and bleak his life is without Lily.'

Remus sighed. 'When do you think he'll stop all this? It's not getting him anywhere.'

'Honestly Moony, I don't think he will,' said Sirius, rubbing his eyes and sitting up straight. 'I mean, I know he's a wanker and he's always joking about something, but he loves her doesn't he? And yeah he's not really going about it the right way but it's just because he's scared that if he is honest about his feelings she'll still reject him. That would be majorly shit right, if you poured your heart out to someone and they rejected you and it was so awkward that your friendship was ruined forever a-'

Silence. Sirius was resolutely not looking at him, face flushing red. And Remus realised. James and Lily aren't friends, have never been friends. Remus is so nervous he has to resist fleeing the common room.

'Is that what you're worried about Sirius?' Remus said in a small voice. Remus can be brave, no, he has had to be brave his entire life, since he was bitten when he was six and his life fell apart he has been so brave, but now, sitting beside Sirius Black in the dark Gryffindor common room, he is terrified.

Sirius looks up. 'Yes,' he whispers, and Remus has never seen him like this because Sirius is the most confident person he knows and Remus knows that he has to do something now or he might never get a chance to again.

'Well, you shouldn't be.' He said, sounding more confident than he feels, before steadying himself, leaning in, and kissing Sirius Black.

And Remus thinks, yes. This is where I belong.


End file.
